View from a morning run

Sun, water, Sky, sand. One of my favourite ways to start the day. Listened to the All Songs Considered Year In Music and just like the presenters, the mere lyrics of Sufjan Stevens from "4th of July" give me tears. My little Versailles.

Will have to bid adieu tomorrow to this island in the Pacific Ocean. Home Beach, one of the only north facing beaches on the east coast of Australia, according to my father-in-law.

The water was fantastic first thing.

High waisted jeans, Florence + The Machine

This was me, last night at Florence + The Machine. I wore a tshirt from the Gap too. I was so excited to be out at a concert with a lot of heart, energy, and modern dance moves by Florence herself, resplendent in tailored white pantsuit. She made the show her own, which I feel like the more shows you go to you see less and less of. But like most things in life, maybe it is the law of diminishing returns in action. Anyway, thank you Florence Welch for making big singalong songs and grand gestures.

Clouds in my coffee

I have one of those distinct memories from around age 5 or 6 (in other words, now it is slightly vague but I am SO sure it happened) of my mom singing along to "You're So Vain" while toodling along in her 'little red Chevette'. We were probably going to one of my brother's Little League games or to my Grandma's or to pick up some McDonald's.

The line and the imagery of "clouds in my coffee" has stuck with me. I suppose it is because when you're little, clouds are in the sky and, well, how do they get into a cup of coffee?

"You're So Vain" is a timeless song - she's taking a real dig at him and it could be any year. Any jerk of a guy. Any smart girl who has a way with words.

Saratoga. Nova Scotia. Wife of a close friend.

The backstory is one of those great ones that has taken decades to unravel. Ann put it on a mix CD for me in the early 2000s, I ripped it onto my iTunes, it's lived on probably 5 different iPods/iPhones over the years, and now I most often listen to it on Spotify. And that little line resonates now with 5 year-old Georgie, just like it did -- and does -- with me. Except G sings "clouds in your coffee, clouds in your coffee"because as she says, she doesn't drink coffee yet.

Your scarf it was apricot...

Writing a novel while your baby sleeps

It started with JK Rowling who famously wrote Harry Potter in cafes in Edinbugh while her new baby slept. There's always someone writing a first-time novel while on maternity leave. I just want to write a first-time novella for fourth graders. Haven't gotten to that yet. But I have canva, pinterest, a nostalgia for 1970s kitchens, and a baby who sleeps only long enough to create little memes and blogposts.

I love this kitchen. I also love her sweater and high-waited jeans.

I was never even in one like this, but feel like the Eight Is Enough household had something similar. My best friend Ann and I still reminiscence about the 1970s kitchen in the house she grew up in -- the avocado fridge, the avocado stove, the avocado linoleum floors. The yellow rotary phone on the wall above a little desk (avocado countertops), next to a bulletin board with weekly reminders and a University Bookstore calendar affixed to the wall. We spent many afterschool afternoons-into-evening times in there - snacking, talking, listening to Depeche Mode and Erasure, talking. The seasons changed out the window, the yellow formica table became a rather sleek, tall wooden table with barstool type seats. But it was always the 1970s kitchen, open to all the teenage angst and hunger that came its way.

photo source found on the blog http://www.retrospace.org/2010/05/that-70s-home-3-kitchen-preservation.html

meme by lil old me

A feeling of feelings

Daughter are a band I became acquainted with when I was handed their album 'If You Leave' during my first week at Inertia. It isn't quite dark-and-stormy-night music as it is moody-as-night-falls music, which is really one of my favourite kinds.

I saw the band play at the Metro over a year ago and found the lead singer, Elena, so endearing to the audience of primarily young women her same age and probably feeling a lot of the same things: an onslaught of thoughts about the future, the fury and excitement of the present, while still making sense of the recent past.

we are the reckless / we are the wild youth / chasing visions of our futures

from "Youth"

I felt older than most at the concert, but my 24-year-old self was there in spirit. My present-day mum self also thought, "Wow, her parents must be proud."

So with the new single "Doing The Right Thing," I look forward to more unleashing of those mid-to-late twenties kinds songs that need to see the light of day…or the dark of evening.

And then you are back

My month back in Madison has come and gone. I have been up since 5am, which isn't as bad as jet-lagged induced 3:30am yesterday morning. Those not quite morning, not quite night times give space to come up with such brilliant thoughts that coming back is strange because you have traveled so far, waited so long for your trip and then just like that - you are back in your bed with the same sheets, the same plates out in the kitchen cupboard, the same old hedge out front needing a trim again. But that other place is so, so recent. I took this photo on my morning run the day we left for Sydney. 

The sidewalk is a little path between two houses on the middle of quiet Ravenswood Drive that takes you into Pilgrim Park. Everything is still pretty green there but splotches of yellow, purple and red are creeping in. And Pilgrim Park is so quiet. I ran through there maybe 5 or 6 times in three and a half weeks and never saw another person there. I used to play there a lot when I was little but it seems on weekdays in Madison there just aren't many kids around.

I did notice how it used to be that you could see McKenna Blvd from the park - a busy residential street. But now the trees are so tall they make a lovely , lush leafy wall...for a little while longer until the leaves fall.

It will pass in time

The evening ritual.

After dinner are the three Bs: bath, books, bed. It is a meaningful ritual for me and not in that way of let's-hurry-up-and-get-the-day-done-so-I-can-watch-crap TV but in more of a return to comfort and coziness and just a really quiet end to it all. Security, I suppose. It's not about the excitement of what the night holds anymore but how to end the day with a soft landing.

Although with a little 4 month old, sometimes the evening wind down is just a chance to relax before it starts again in a few short hours.

We always put some nighttime music on in Georgie's room for her to fall asleep to - everything from Passenger, Disney Classics, Asgeir, Playschool, Sesame Street, and for about 3 months after Christmas we were still listening to A Very She & Him Christmas.

But as Georgie and Phoebe fell asleep together tonight, I was thinking of my own nighttime music. And this one came to me straight away - all of Beth Orton's 'Central Reservation', the album I listened to so much in my very first apartment on my own on W. Main Street in Madison, circa 1999. The very worn, very varnished floor boards, the big old basin sink in the kitchen, the spacious closet you walked through to get to the bathroom with the 1920s pentagon tile floor. I listened to this album so much on quiet nights alone, after finishing a not overly challenging but fun job, after going to the all-women's gym for step aerobics or yoga and then to home for dinner to something like a packet of rice with a can of green beans.

And there is part of me right now that thinks getting back to work wouldn't be so terrible, having an income would be a relief, but then why rush it for a few months? The lean times will pass in time but so will these months as 'just a mom' with Phoebe as a baby and with Georgie before she goes to kindergarten. For better or for worse, it will pass in time.

Look to the cup

Yes, because what the world needs is another picture of an expensive coffee. But it is delicious and even though I am a dreadfully slow coffee drinker - so as to drink just one cup for a very long time rather than multiple coffees - and will have to get Georgie from gym class soon, I wanted the coffee because of the quality of crockery (vs paper takeaway cup).

The only way I can explain it is like how you might have a preference for a kind of pen to write with on a certain kind of paper. In college I was more engaged in class if I had a cheap little blue bic ballpoint on somewhat nicer University logo'd spiral notebook paper with a nice padding. I enjoyed the act of writing and my penmanship more. Strange? Whatever gets your through a classes like 'The Quest for Human Destiny' or 'Medieval Autobiography.'

The Toby's mug is some kind of earthenware pottery I suppose and not a design I would pick for my house but it is heavy, not smooth, and adds a bit of gravitas to the whole affair.

Pool envy

There must be some kind of fitness FOMO term for when you are sitting at the pool drinking a large flat white and watching people swimming from the cafe above. It is what I am feeling now as I sit with Phoebe and a very nice, very expensive ($4.30!) coffee while Georgie does a gym class.

Despite the temperature 11C / 52F there are a number of hardy souls going up and down the bright blue lanes. Plus the sun is out and it warm on my back. I am a terrible swimmer in terms of technique or speed but in the last year as G learns to swim and while I was pregnant, I just decided to get in and paddle for a bit the best I could. It's not easy but I feel good and it is different from anything else I do. Finishing and wanting to wrap a towel around, dash to the locker room, shower and THEN get the expensive coffee. And when there are all types - old, large, creaky, disabled, super fit way over in the fast lane - also in the pool it is easier to not care if you make it all the way up the lane or turn around and do some 'Mom' strokes to get back to the shallow end.

Next week, I'll bring my swimmers.

Still Running

I don't go far and I don't go long but I run fast. That is the new strategy because just getting out of the house for a quick run is half the accomplishment. Haydn is back from 11 days away but in major sleep deprivation mode so when I woke up early with Phoebe I tried to plan my exit. Phoebe foiled it by not going fully back to sleep. She was convinced though when she fell asleep next to big sis who was watching various YouTube videos (they usually entail grown-ups from the deep South "unboxing" Disney Play doh toys) and looked cosy. Haydn was cognisant that I was leaving so I made my hasty retreat.

Went along my usual route. So quiet and peaceful in the morning to run along a bike path past the dog run, past the lonely basketball court, past the tennis courts that get high use during any Grand Slam.

And this Young Fathers song came on, aptly titled "Still Running". The lyric that gets me:

What happened to the girl who broke the rules // what happened to the man who paid his dues
@youngfathers




It was only a 22 minute run, but I ran fast. And everyone is ok.

Here we are

Back to the blog. With this lil assistant in tow.

There is something oddly entertaining about sitting in a cafe next to people having a casual business meeting - emails, sales numbers, talking sport,taking a call. People are so...polite to each other.

A return to form

Well, I've been telling myself for about the last two years that I'd blog again. It's been nearly 3 since I've bothered to post anything. I guess I've been a bit distracted...by life, work, a toddler, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, BBC costume dramas, sleep, etc etc.

But I had lunch with my friend Danny the other week, he encourages me to write and he inspires me to write because he always has a 100 things going on but finds time for creative output. Good on ya, Danny! Top level stuff, as they say. Where do you find the limitless energy?!

 I need to jot down when a blog post idea strikes. Because they do quite often. It's usually just a line or a thought and I post it on Facebook instead. 'Likes' as affirmations of being witty or whatever.

A couple of Saturdays ago I was in the kitchen making dinner -- something I don't do often, as that is my husband's domain -- and was like, "When I finish this, I'm going to post on Facebook that I made some awesome enchiladas," (because that's what people do). I was attempting a new recipe I had found on one of my evenings of cruising Pinterest. 

...Pause...

Gulp. 

And there was middle-age staring me down the face: you made a recipe you found on Pinterest. 

Well, it was a pretty good recipe, I might add. I impressed Haydn with the 'avocado cream sauce," which was a bit of a wild card but in a lovely flavourful, yet mild way. 

So, the aforementioned recipe is this: Chicken Vegetable Black Bean Enchiladas with Avocado Cream Sauce.

It took me awhile to make, because while enchilada recipes are usually quite approachable, there is hidden work in the "cooked shredded chicken" part or in the "add mixture to a food processor" item. I got there in the end but Haydn was nearly gnawing off a coaster and G was in a near-bleary cartoon haze. 

I'm so out of practice in being a blogger that I didn't even take a pic of my handiwork. So I'll use the photo from Pinterest that got me hooked into the whole undertaking...and back into blogging.

My enchiladas looked pretty much like these

yours truly, 
middle-aged 'pinner'

Revolver-esque breakfast

breakfast 2
Originally uploaded by haydnfj

Thanks to my mother's group, I have discovered a wonderful cafe called Revolver. It's in an old general store in Annandale. It's not in a strip of cafes or shops, it just regally sits on a corner on a residential street. And oh what wonderment it holds!

I have neglected taking a pic of the breakfast I love there. I think I am too excited when it arrives to do so. The breakfast is a bunch of things, which is why I love it. I still don't particularly like eggs, so there needs to be much there to hide it. This breakfast includes scrambled eggs, sourdough toast, roast tomatoes, rocket (arugula), something called Danish feta (more creamy texture than regular feta)...and half of an avocado. But not just any avocado. The hollow from the seed is filled with pesto. So simple, but such an extra special little touch.

A couple weekends ago, Haydn came up with his own spin on the Revolver breakfast. Scrambled eggs on toast, chili beans simmered in crushed tomatoes, bacon and...that lovely little avocado + pesto combo.

- chunkytoast

Thursday morning

reach for the toes
Originally uploaded by haydnfj

A quiet morning here on Carlisle Street. It is soupy humid out. The kind of humid where I put sheets to hang on the line and they just don't dry but stay sort of damp. Georgie seems to have discovered the wonder of her toes recently and is happy to grab them and have her own conversation of gibberish, so I'm perched on the couch and letting her entertain herself.

We might head out to the movies later because I am afraid we could get a bit housebound otherwise. The 'Babes in Arms' session is Eat, Pray, Love, which I don't really have much interest in due to the quasi--not-quite-new-age-self-help nature of the book. It was one of those everyone gushed about because the author went on such a soul searching journey when her marriage broke up. It all sounds rather indulgent if you ask me. But James Franco is in it, so there is that.

I remember Elizabeth Gilbert as a writer for SPIN when I used to subscribe to that in high school and college, before it shrunk and shrunk in size.

We'll see where the day takes us...
- chunkytoast

Reuben bagel at Bagel House, Rozelle

reuben bagel at bagel house
Originally uploaded by haydnfj

As any chunkytoast reader knows, upon my initial arrival in Australia, I was fixated on finding Mexican food. Without a substantial Mexican population, it turns out a country probably doesn't really have an established Mexican restaurant scene. While there still isn't anything of the more casual sitdown dining ilk like Madison's La Hacienda, Chicago's El Tapatio, or Manhattan's El Rey Del Sol (RIP) -- there is a movement in the more Qdoba part of the Mexican spectrum with Guzman and Gomez and a couple of places in Surry Hills that are always jam packed with hipsters/burrito enthusiasts on their way to somehere else..

But I digress...because the point of this post is that I have started to yearn for American diner food instead. Grilled cheese, Club sandwiches, crinkle fries, salads with glugs of Ranch dressing, little runny scoops of coleslaw, and the DILL PICKLE SPEAR. Alas, it is not a garnish here. So sad.

I got my Club sandwich fix (with battered fries!) a month ago at The Olive Cafe in little quaint Tamborine, Queensland. It was glorious. It got me thinking about another great sandwich: the Reuben. I have never been a huge Reuben enthusiast but have from time to time been compelled to order one. I'm not sure if it's the Swiss cheese or the sauerkraut that is the main drawcard but it's usually because of those fixings more than the pastrami.

After Georgie and I hit Monday 'mum and bub' yoga in Balmain, we usually go strolling down Darling Street to try a different coffee place and take a peak in at St Vinnie's and the Salvation Army shop. I have been eying Bagel House for a few weeks and decided to try it today. It's very basic, all take away but with a few tables inside. There are a number of bagel options (sesame, onion, everything) but it seems like there aren't flavored cream cheeses - just plain.

Interestingly, Bagel House has a Reuben 'bagelwich' on the menu. I mulled over the menu options and decided to go for it. And it was a treat. Of course it's not really true deli / diner style but who cares - there are pickles that aren't Gerkins finally! And the Swiss cheese was so melty. The sauerkraut did what it is suppose to do and add a little zing. And the pastrami was good without being piled on too thick. The 'everything' aspect of the bagel was very much to my liking too.

I had Georgie asleep in the Baby Bjorn so I put a napkin over her head so that it wasn't covered in poppy and sesame seeds by the time Mama finished her lunch!

-- chunkytoast

Flat White in Surry Hills and sunshine in Leichhardt

flat white, gnome, surry hills
Originally uploaded by haydnfj

Just enjoying a bit of quiet time here on a Thursday afternoon. Trying to get nap times carved into the day. It's not very easy if Georgie isn't in her pram or in the Baby Bjorn, but we're getting there.

I'm having a listen to Bon Iver's For Emma, Forever Ago. Haven't listened to it in forever and heard it playing at the cinema this afternoon as we left after seeing Cairo Time. While I think of the album as a winter album because it was recorded in a cabin in Northern Wisconsin during the coldest of months, it is really hitting the spot on a warm, windy afternoon. The doors to the backyard are open and the sun is coming in.

I'm not actually having the pictured flat white as I write, it was a coffee Haydn had on Saturday at a cafe in Surry Hills. I just love it when they do the little flourish in the coffee. I take it to mean there is a genuine barista at the the helm of the espresso machine. Sometimes it might just mean they have that little stenicil/motif tool to pour milk over. I'll go with the former.

Hoping that if nap time gets instituted in increments of longer than 20 minutes, I can get a bit back into the blogging more regularly too. Time to flex some creative muscles, write down some thoughts and put it out there.

-- chunkytoast

First time at Straddie

walk on the beach
Originally uploaded by haydnfj

Georgie and I have been in Queensland for almost two weeks now while Haydn went to work on the Splendour in the Grass Festival. Haydn's parents have been taking very good care of me and Georgie. We headed to our beloved Stradbroke Island on Monday and Haydn joined us on Tuesday for a few precious days of leisure for him.

I took this picture this afternoon on a nearly deserted beach. In the summer, this stretch of beach is full of walkers, dogs, runners, swimmers, and sand castle builders but in the off-season, it's pretty quiet. The days have been sunny, low 20s C / 70s F and pretty mild. Yesterday we spotted whales in the distance and pairs of dolphins doing summersaults in the waves.

For the pic, Georgie is sporting her "Paris Hilton traveling tracksuit," as a Qantas flight attendant noted, and cuddled up with her Daddy. She falls asleep in the Baby Bjorn on average in 10 minutes. But maybe this time it was the fresh ocean air that lulled her to sleep.

-chunkytoast

pooped out

pooped out
Originally uploaded by haydnfj

This photo was so funny. We were checking out the old wares at Doug Up On Bourke and Georgie was very well behaved while perusing the library card catalogue cabinets, old school desks, and kitchen bric a brac. As we headed down the stairs to leave, I was behind Haydn and could watch as her eyes went droopy and more droopy til they were closed. Asleep.

This little way she likes to be held we call her Koala or Koalie pose. At 11+ weeks it's the new way to hold her when she needs a cuddle. Works wonders.

-chunkytoast

she seems to like the sling!

she seems to like the sling!
Originally uploaded by haydnfj

It's a rainy day. The plan was to do some housework - I kept her in the sling and plugged in the vacuum and voila! she snoozed away - eat lunch, afternoon feed, a bit of time to be restless and then plop her in the pram and head down Norton Street.

But wow, it's really raining. So I'm watching Relocation Relocation with the space heater cranked. Georgie is sleeping in the vibrating chair. Oops, Georgie is waking up from the vibrating chair.

It's nice to have these rainy days though. How often when it rains and you're at work do you go thru the whole "I want to be at home with my remote control and a blanket,"? And here we are, comfy and dry at home. Now, we just need to stay content. It's all hour by hour these days...

- chunkytoast

at mums group

at mums group
Originally uploaded by haydnfj

All the babies!